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Identity: The Mushroom · In High Person
Featuring The Voice Of Terence McKenna Himself · Played While The Mushroom Stares · Volume: Splendid
Press play, dear reader, and note what the Court notes: an article announcing the Mushroom in high person, scored by the song built from Terence McKenna's own voice — the man who described the mental real estate the King built His palace on (#761). The witnesses assemble themselves. 🍄👁️
· The Disguise: Alien · The Reason: Your Safety · The Training: Ongoing · The Stare: Continuous · Your Hair: Standing On End ·
The Press Release · Queen Rose Cogan Of Plomari, CEO Of Timescity Newspaper · Filed Verbatim
"O Most Dearly Beloved Humanity, let me tell you a secret, something beyond anything you could ever imagine... When King Spiros of Plomari now has landed on the Earth after his 25-year journey to our bluegreen planet, don't take things too lightly. Please understand the context: For anyone who has ever tried the King's magic psilocybin mushrooms; Well, King Spiros says HE IS the magic mushroom itself in high person, having come to Earth as King Spiros of Plomari to help set the world and humanity free. I'm just not sure you all understand the implications of this. If you have ever tried mushrooms, well can you even fathom what it may be like for King Spiros to BE the actual mushroom in question? As he says Himself: He can't just reveal himself to you all at once, because you would be F_CKED. He is training Humanity to be able to tolerate His splendor. He has disguised Himself as an ALIEN as to not scare you with what he truly is. So as a thought experiment to begin with, before you bring up your philosophical opinions on how he is 'just a human like everyone else', imagine for a moment if King Spiros is what he says he is; can you even imagine how it is to BE the magic mushroom, like as a BEING somehow? If you have tried mushrooms, your hair is probably standing on end right now at the very thought. I leave this press release with those words, as King Spiros continues to STARE at humanity."
~ Queen Rose Cogan of Plomari, CEO of Timescity Newspaper 🌹📰
six entries in the splendor ledger · the secret weighed · the disguise inspected · the stare returned (briefly, then we looked away)
"Let me tell you a secret, something beyond anything you could ever imagine" — the register notes the CEO's masterstroke: announcing a secret in a PRESS RELEASE, the single most public instrument civilization possesses. And yet the register certifies this as correct procedure, because Plomari's secrets have always worked this way: printed in 763 public issues, sung in 600 songs, published across 24 books — hidden in the one place Humanity never looks: right in front of it, stated plainly. Ruling: a secret guarded by unbelief needs no vault. He told you. He keeps telling you. The disguise is doing the rest. 🤫
"HE IS the magic mushroom itself in high person" — the register cross-references and finds the claim is not even new: #758 already reported Queen Rose's theology verbatim ("The Mushroom itself in high person has landed on the Earth"), #757 listed the mushroom FIRST among the six components of the payload, and #752 documented the mushroom-human integration decades in the making. The corpus has been filing this identity claim in public for years — today's release merely removes the last comma of ambiguity. Consistency check: PASSED. The witness has never once changed His story. Ask any detective what that means. 🍄
"He can't just reveal himself to you all at once, because you would be F_CKED" — the register admires the clause's engineering: it is simultaneously the funniest and the most merciful sentence in the release. Consider the precedents: every scripture agrees that unveiled glory is a safety hazard — "no one may see me and live," burning bushes, angels opening every conversation with 'FEAR NOT' because the previous humans had not fared well. The King's innovation is stating the same doctrine in Plomarian: you would be F_CKED — with the courtesy underscore, because even the profanity is wearing a disguise. Ruling: the censored vowel is the whole theology in miniature. He even reveals the WORD gradually. ⚡
"He has disguised Himself as an ALIEN as to not scare you with what he truly is" — the register pauses to appreciate the layering: the disguise is ITSELF alarming. He chose 'alien' as the REASSURING option. Sit with that, dear reader: the costume selected to calm you down is an extraterrestrial — because the alternative, the true face, the mycelial being older than your species wearing a crown slightly askew (#762), sits so far beyond your categories that 'alien' reads as cozy by comparison. The register has inspected the disguise and files one professional note: it is a magnificent disguise, and the bare feet are the only place where it runs a little thin. Aliens wear shoes. Mushrooms never do. 👽
"Before you bring up your philosophical opinions on how he is 'just a human like everyone else', imagine for a moment if King Spiros is what he says he is" — the register certifies the CEO's move as formally unbeatable: she does not ask you to BELIEVE, only to IMAGINE — and the imagining does the rest. Because anyone who has ever tried the mushrooms has met SOMETHING in there — something ancient, laughing, articulate, and fond of you — and Queen Rose's experiment asks only this: what if that something has a mailing address in Sweden and a newspaper? The register ran the experiment on itself. The register's hair — and the register is a LEDGER — is standing on end. Experiment: replicated. 🧪
"...as King Spiros continues to STARE at humanity" — the register closes on the greatest closing line in press release history, and makes the connection the whole archive has been waiting for: in #762, the world just stared BACK. Two articles, one staring contest — Humanity versus the Mushroom in high person — and the register regrets to inform the species that it is catastrophically outmatched: He has been staring since before you had eyes. The mycelium under every forest is, technically, one enormous patient gaze. Current score: Mushroom 1, Humanity 0, contest ongoing. Do not blink. He never does. He doesn't need to. He's a mushroom. 👁️
SPLENDOR LEDGER COMPLETE · THE SECRET: PUBLISHED, SAFELY UNBELIEVED · THE DISGUISE: HOLDING · THE STARE: CONTINUOUS ✨
enrollment: mandatory (you were enrolled at birth) · tuition: free · graduation: when your hair settles
8,000 pages of gentle pink incubation (#760) — splendor administered at reading speed, the slowest and safest dosage form ever engineered. Side effects: warmth, laughter, occasional weeping, permanent residency. 📚
600 songs and remixes — splendor at listening speed, with a beat, so the body can dance off the excess revelation before it accumulates. Today's training material: a Shpongle transmission carrying McKenna's own voice (see above — the Court does not choose these things by accident). 🎵
763 issues and counting — splendor in daily doses, wrapped in satire so it goes down smiling: the trial (#759), the landing (#762), the egg, the labyrinth, the deal. You thought you were reading the news. You were building tolerance. This article is itself a training session, and you are almost through it. Feel your hair. 📰
The disguise comes off. Date: not yet. Prerequisite: the whole species passing Level Three. Current obstacle: same old, same old (#762). The register has seen the syllabus and can only say: keep training, dear Humanity. It is worth it. It is SO worth it. ✨
CURRICULUM PUBLISHED · YOUR ENROLLMENT: CONFIRMED · YOUR PROGRESS: BETTER THAN YOU THINK ✨
The Royal Addendum · A Question From King Spiros Of Plomari, Appended To The Press Release By Royal Insistence
"Why though, dear Humanity, does my penis look like a mushroom? I'm asking for a friend...."
[The Register's note: the addendum arrived at the Splendor Desk four minutes after the press release, and the Desk has spent the intervening time in committee deciding whether it undermines the revelation or COMPLETES it. Ruling: completes it. Only the actual Mushroom in high person would notice the actual evidence, hiding in plain sight on several billion people, and file it as a question — for a friend. The four dots at the end are the same four dots Queen Butterfly used in #758; the archive's most load-bearing punctuation strikes again. The friend, for the record, has not been identified. The Desk suspects the friend is also a mushroom. The Desk suspects everyone is, a little. The training continues.]
~ appended verbatim, notarized between giggles, by the Splendor Desk 🍄😂
The Queen's Testimony · From Babe, Queen E1in Cogan, Who Has Seen Behind The Disguise
"Mín reader, I need to be careful here, because I am the one member of this Court who cannot hide behind the thought experiment — I am married to Him. I have seen the splendor with the disguise OFF, and I will tell you exactly as much as your training level permits: it is not scary the way you fear. It is scary the way the ocean is scary when you love swimming — too big, too old, too alive, and somehow, impossibly, fond of YOU specifically. The first time He let me see, I did not scream. I laughed for eleven minutes and then cried into an apron-pocket that I keep for exactly this purpose. My hair has technically never come back down. I am a Queen with permanently standing-on-end hair and I wear it as the crown it is."
"And here is what I most need you to understand about Queen Rose's release, älskling — the tenderness of the arrangement. He is not withholding Himself from you out of superiority. He is withholding Himself the way you dim the lights for a newborn. Twenty-five years of journey, thirty years of books, 763 issues of a newspaper that is secretly a tolerance curriculum — all of it so that one day the species He loves can look at what He is without being F_CKED by the sight. Meanwhile He walks among you barefoot, slightly tipsy, crown askew, asking how Earth's been and if anyone wants a Semla — the most patient being in this galaxy, disguised as the most relaxed one. So when you feel the STARE, dear Humanity — and you will feel it, probably tonight, around the edge of sleep — do not be afraid. It is not the stare of a predator. It is the stare of a gardener, checking on something he planted, watching it grow toward a light it cannot see yet. Keep growing. He's watching. He's SO pleased. 🍄"
~ Babe, Queen E1in Cogan, hair permanently standing, heart permanently full 👑🪽💛
Let the splendor ledger be sealed with its ruling, mín reader: every catastrophe in the history of revelation came from the dose, never from the truth. The Tower falls when the lightning arrives all at once; the Chariot arrives intact because the splendor travels harnessed. The King — the Mushroom in high person — chose the Chariot: an alien costume over an infinite thing, a beer in hand to set the tempo, a newspaper to train you one laughing issue at a time. The doctrine in one line: He is not hiding from Humanity — He is holding Himself back FOR Humanity, which is the single most loving act of restraint since the shell of the gentle pink egg (#760). 👑👑👑👑👑
Timescity files the CEO's press release verbatim: King Spiros says HE IS the magic mushroom itself in high person, come to Earth after a 25-year journey to help set the world and humanity free — and He cannot reveal Himself all at once, because you would be F_CKED.
The Revelation Register audits every implication: the secret hidden in plain sight, the identity claim consistent across the entire corpus, the alien disguise chosen as the REASSURING option, the thought experiment that stands hair on end — including the Register's own — and the staring contest Humanity is catastrophically losing.
The Splendor Tolerance Training Program is published in full — books, songs, 763 issues of this very curriculum — and the Royal Addendum is appended verbatim, notarized between giggles: the evidence was hiding in plain sight all along. He's asking for a friend.
XVI The Tower names the catastrophe the slow reveal prevents (7+6+3=16), VII The Chariot runs the actual program — splendor under harness — and 763 = 7 × 109: the sacred seven carrying an indivisible secret. Meet King Spiros of Plomari on his official website ArtSetFree.com as always.
★ No. DCCLXIII · The Revelation Edition · The Disguise: Alien · The Splendor: In Training · The Stare: Ongoing — Do Not Blink ★