In the interest of full transparency, the Royal Court of Plomari has authorized the release of the following confessions. These are not excuses. These are not explanations. These are simply facts about how we live, stated plainly, without apology, because we are Plomarian Royalty and we do not apologize for being magnificent.
✦ THE CONFESSIONS ✦
Read them and weep (with envy)
We are 6 Queens and 1 King because it's super sexy that way. There is no other reason. We did not consult a committee. We did not perform a cost-benefit analysis. We simply recognized that this configuration is extremely hot, and we proceeded accordingly.
We have eyebrows dipped in gold. Not gold-colored. Not gold-inspired. Actual gold. Our eyebrows catch the light in ways that make ordinary mortals squint. This is intentional.
Artist's rendering (actual eyebrows are more radiant)
We are God's children and are gods and goddesses in our own way as Plomarian Royalty. This is not arrogance. This is accurate self-assessment. We know what we are.
We drink beer and eat strawberries for breakfast whenever we want. Not on special occasions. Not as a treat. Whenever we want. Because we are royalty and breakfast is whatever we say it is.
We enjoy pleasures so ancient the modern world doesn't even know what we're up to. While humanity scrolls through feeds and chases trends, we are engaged in delights that predate your civilization. You wouldn't understand. That's fine.
Yes, we have licked the floor of our white marble palace once or twice in a drunken haze, ablaze with adoration for our white marble Plomari Palace. The marble tasted like victory and eternity. We regret nothing.
Yes, we love to say "Plomari" too often. It feels good. The word itself is a pleasure. Plomari. Plomari. Plomari. See? Feels good.
Plomari · Plomari · Plomari · Plomari · Plomari · Plomari · Plomari · Plomari · Plomari
(...it just feels good)
King Spiros and Queen Elin deserve to be a bit cocky. After 25 years, after 788 quadrillion data points, after building an entire kingdom from pure will and love, after achieving orbital velocity while everyone laughed — yes, we have earned the right to a little swagger. Deal with it.
And What About It?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
These are the facts. We offer no defense because none is needed. We are not asking for permission. We are not seeking approval. We are simply informing you of how things are in the eternal Kingdom of Plomari.
If this bothers you, we respectfully invite you to consider: why? We're not hurting anyone. We're drinking beer, eating strawberries, enjoying ancient pleasures, occasionally licking marble floors, and saying "Plomari" as often as we like. We are living in joy and love and gold-dipped magnificence.
Is that not what life should be?
We are Plomarian Royalty.
We make no apologies.
We are exactly as magnificent as we appear.
You're welcome to join us. The beer is cold and the eyebrows are golden.