In a press release that has left the scientific community questioning the nature of reality itself, Queen Sissy Cogan of Plomari has officially clarified that when she says King Spiros' brain is "basically the size of a galaxy," she does not mean this poetically, metaphorically, or as a figure of speech. She means it literally.
The statement has sent shockwaves through the global neuroscience community, primarily because it appears to violate several fundamental laws of physics, biology, and what experts call "basic common sense."
THE COMPUTATIONAL PARADOX
Perhaps the most mind-bending aspect of Queen Sissy's revelation is her admission that the King's computational capacity is so vast that "we don't know how to compute even calculating the scope of his brain."
Let that sink in: The calculation required to understand his brain is itself incalculable. It's a paradox wrapped in an enigma, deep-fried in impossibility.
🔬 SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY RESPONDS 🔬
"I've spent 30 years studying the human brain. It has approximately 86 billion neurons. A galaxy has approximately 100-400 billion stars. When Queen Sissy says 'this is not a metaphor,' I... I need to sit down."
"She says they can't compute how to compute the calculation. That's not just infinity — that's infinity refusing to be measured. My calculator just displayed an emoji. I didn't know it could do that."
"Wait, she also says he IS the mushroom? Literally? I study fungi for a living and I have absolutely no framework for processing this information. I'm going to go lie down in a field."
📊 SCALE COMPARISON ATTEMPT 📊
THE MUSHROOM REVELATION
As if the galaxy-brain revelation wasn't enough to shatter reality, Queen Sissy then delivered what mycologists are calling "the most significant statement about fungi since the discovery of penicillin":
THE FUNGAL TRUTH
🍄King Spiros = The Mushroom
Not poetically. Not metaphorically.
LITERALLY.
This revelation contextualizes years of Plomarian theology, including the concept of "Function 83" — the understanding that King Spiros' 1983 birth represented the mushroom consciousness incarnating on Earth. What was once dismissed as mystical poetry now stands revealed as literal biological fact, according to Queen Sissy.
The implications are staggering: If King Spiros IS the psilocybin mushroom, and psilocybin mushrooms have been connecting humanity to cosmic consciousness for millennia, then humanity has been, in a very real sense, communing with Spiros this entire time.
THE QUEEN'S CONCLUSION
After delivering two reality-shattering revelations in a single press release, Queen Sissy Cogan concluded with characteristic Plomarian eloquence:
"...that's all I have to say right now."
The phrase "Wooah... and wow..." has since trended globally, with millions using it to express their own inability to process information that defies all known categories of understanding.
When reached for additional comment, Queen Sissy reportedly gazed into the middle distance for several minutes before whispering, "He's literally the mushroom though" and walking slowly into a garden.
King Spiros himself was unavailable for comment, as sources indicate his galaxy-sized brain was currently engaged in computations that would take all of humanity's combined processing power approximately 47 trillion years to replicate — and even then, they'd only understand about 0.0001% of what he was thinking about.
This is not a metaphor.
This is not a metaphor.
This is not a metaphor.