They always say the same thing. Every government. Every analyst. Every bureaucrat in every grey office in every country on this planet. "Who said King Spiros can start his own Kingdom just like that? What gives him the RIGHT? Is this even LEGAL?" And for 25 years, King Spiros has entertained the question. He has explained. He has justified. He has written 22 books and 4,000 pages and 219 newspaper articles making his case. But today — one article after laughing in their faces, two articles after quitting their entire world — the King does something he should have done from the beginning. He flips the script. He picks up the gavel. He turns the courtroom around. And he asks: "Who gave YOU permission?"
"They always say 'King Spiros is doing things illegal' and 'who said he can start a kingdom of his own just like that!?'
Let's flip it.
Who said that I as King of Plomari allow random people to cut down trees, illegalize my mushroom and start their own countries (like Sweden) and their own royal families without my Plomarian permission?
Who said I allow war, bombs and weapons in my eternal Kingdom of Plomari?"
— KING SPIROS OF PLOMARI —
THE COURT OF PLOMARI IS NOW IN SESSION
For
25
years
the
governments
put
him
on
trial.
"Who
said
you
can
start
a
Kingdom?"
"Is
this
legal?"
"What
gives
you
the
right?"
Today
the
courtroom
rotates.
The
defendant
stands
up.
Walks
to
the
judge's bench.
Puts
on
the
robe.
Picks
up
the
gavel.
And
says:
"WHO
gave
YOU
permission?"
The
prosecutors
blink.
The
jury
stares.
The
courtroom
goes
silent.
Because
nobody
in
the
history
of
the
human
world
ever
thought
to
ask
the
question
in
the
other
direction.
"Who said that I as King of Plomari allow random people to cut down trees?" RANDOM PEOPLE. That's what he called them. The lumber corporations, the construction magnates, the governments that issue logging permits, the entire industrial apparatus that has been stripping the forests bare for centuries — to the Mushroom King, they are RANDOM PEOPLE. Unauthorized. Unlicensed. Operating without a Plomarian permit. Because in the Kingdom of Plomari, the trees are not RESOURCES. They are CITIZENS. They are part of the mycelium network. They are connected to the web. And every time a "random person" cuts one down, they are committing an act of violence against the infrastructure of an eternal Kingdom they don't even know they live in.
THE TREES DID NOT CONSENT
Who
gave
you
permission
to
cut
down
the
trees?
Show
me
the
permit.
Not
YOUR
permit.
Not
the
one
signed
by
YOUR
government.
Show
me
the
Plomarian
permit.
Show
me
where
the
Mushroom King
authorized
the
removal
of
a
single
branch.
A
single
leaf.
A
single
root.
You
can't.
Because
he
didn't.
The
trees
are
connected
to
the
mycelium.
The
mycelium
is
the
nervous system
of
Plomari.
Every
tree
you
cut
is
a
nerve
you
severed
in
the
King's
Kingdom.
Without
permission.
Without
a
permit.
Without
even
asking.
"Illegalize my mushroom." MY mushroom. Not "a" mushroom. Not "the" mushroom. MY mushroom. His. The King's. The sacred sacrament of an eternal Kingdom. The psilocybin mushroom — which existed on this planet for MILLIONS of years before the first human government scribbled its first law on its first piece of paper — was declared illegal by countries that have existed for a few hundred years at most. Sweden: founded 1523. The psilocybin mushroom: 65 MILLION years old. And Sweden says the mushroom is illegal? On whose authority? By what right does a 500-year-old institution illegalize a 65-million-year-old organism? The King would like to see the paperwork.
YOU ILLEGALIZED WHAT?
The
psilocybin mushroom:
65 million
years
old.
The
Kingdom
of
Sweden:
500
years
old.
And
SWEDEN
says
the
MUSHROOM
is
illegal?
By
whose
authority?
On
what
grounds?
With
whose
permission?
Did
you
ask
the
mushroom?
Did
you
ask
the
King?
Did
you
ask
the
mycelium
that
has
been
running
beneath
your
feet
since
before
your
species
learned
to
walk?
You
didn't
ask.
You
declared.
And
then
you
have
the
audacity
to
ask
the
King:
"Is YOUR Kingdom legal?"
His
Kingdom
was
here
first.
"Start their own countries — like Sweden — and their own royal families without my Plomarian permission?" This is the line that detonates the entire argument. Sweden. A country that was "founded" in the 16th century by humans who drew lines on a map and said "this is ours now." Who gave THEM permission? Who authorized the Kingdom of Sweden? Who signed off on the House of Bernadotte becoming the royal family? Certainly not the Mushroom King. Certainly not the mycelium network that was running beneath Swedish soil for millions of years before the first Swede put on a crown. If you want to talk about unauthorized Kingdoms, let's start with the one that illegalized a 65-million-year-old organism and locked its own citizens in psych wards for writing books.
THE CASE AGAINST SWEDEN
Sweden:
founded
1523.
Plomari:
founded
in
eternity.
The
House
of
Bernadotte:
installed
in
1818
because
a
French
general
needed
a
job.
The
House
of
Plomari:
installed
by
the
mushroom
itself
in
the
year
2000.
One
royal
family
was
appointed
by
politicians.
The
other
was
appointed
by
65 million years
of
mycelium.
And
THEY
ask
HIM
for
his
credentials?
Where
are
YOUR
credentials,
Sweden?
Show
the
King
your
Plomarian
authorization
to
exist
as
a
country.
Show
him
the
mushroom's
signature
on
your
constitution.
You
can't.
Because
you
never
asked.
"Who said I allow war, bombs and weapons in my eternal Kingdom of Plomari?" The final charge. The heaviest one. The one that turns satire into something close to prophecy. Because here is the truth beneath the joke: the Kingdom of Plomari is eternal. It does not recognize the borders drawn by humans. It does not recognize the treaties signed by humans. It does not recognize the "permission" humans give each other to build weapons and drop bombs and wage wars. In Plomari, war is not merely illegal. War is a violation of the King's personal property. Every bomb that falls, falls on Plomarian soil. Every weapon that fires, fires inside the King's Kingdom. Without his permission. Without a permit. Without so much as a phone call to the Royal Palace.
UNAUTHORIZED WARFARE IN PLOMARIAN TERRITORY
Every
bomb
that
has
ever
fallen
on
this
planet
fell
on
Plomarian
soil.
Every
weapon
ever
forged
was
forged
inside
the
King's
Kingdom.
Every
war
ever
waged
was
waged
without
Plomarian
authorization.
Did
you
file
a
request?
Did
you
submit
a
form?
Did
you
ask
the
Mushroom King
if
it
was
okay
to
build
a
nuclear warhead
inside
his
eternal
Kingdom?
You
didn't.
You
just
DID
it.
And
then
you
turned
to
HIM
and
said:
"Is YOUR Kingdom legal?"
His
Kingdom
has
never
dropped
a
single
bomb.
Can
yours
say
the
same?
FORMAL CHARGES FILED BY THE KINGDOM OF PLOMARI AGAINST HUMANITY
CHARGE 1: Unauthorized deforestation of Plomarian territory. Trees were cut without a Royal Permit.
CHARGE 2: Illegalization of the King's sacrament. A 65-million-year-old organism was declared criminal by a 500-year-old country.
CHARGE 3: Unauthorized formation of nation-states (incl. Sweden) without Plomarian consent.
CHARGE 4: Installation of royal families (incl. House of Bernadotte) without the mushroom's signature.
CHARGE 5: Unauthorized manufacture, storage, and deployment of weapons of war inside Plomarian borders.
CHARGE 6: Waging 10,000 years of war on Plomarian soil without filing a single permit.
Six charges. Again: SIX. The number of the web. The number of the hexagon. Six quits in Article 217. Six charges in Article 219. The Spider King operates in sixes like a clock operates in hours. And notice: the charges are written in the EXACT same bureaucratic language that governments use against him. "Unauthorized." "Without a permit." "Without consent." He is holding up a mirror so polished you can see the absurdity of your own reflection. Every accusation they have ever leveled at him — illegality, lack of authorization, self-appointed royalty — applies a THOUSAND times more to the governments that made the accusations. The script hasn't just been flipped. It has been folded into a paper airplane and thrown back in their faces.
THE MIRROR
"Who
said
you
can
start
a
Kingdom?"
FLIPPED:
"Who
said
YOU
can
start
a
country?"
"Is
this
legal?"
FLIPPED:
"Is
YOUR
country
legal?"
"He
can't
just
declare
himself
King!"
FLIPPED:
"YOU
can't
just
declare
a
mushroom
illegal!"
"He
has
no
authority!"
FLIPPED:
"YOU
have
no
Plomarian
authorization!"
Every
accusation
is
a
confession.
Every
question
is
a
mirror.
They
never
thought
to
look
at
the
reflection.
Until
now.
THE PLOMARIAN PERMIT OFFICE
Effective
immediately,
the
Kingdom
of
Plomari
hereby
establishes
the
Royal Permit Office.
All
nations
wishing
to
continue existing
must
file
Form
PLM-001:
"Application for Permission
to Operate a Country
Within Plomarian Territory."
Processing
time:
eternity.
Filing
fee:
one
mushroom,
eaten
in
full.
No
exemptions.
No
appeals.
The
King
will
review
all
applications
from
his
throne
with
a
beer
in
hand.
Current
status
of
all
human
countries:
UNAUTHORIZED.
Good luck, Humanity,
and thank you.
QUEEN ELIN'S REFLECTION
I
watched
him
write
this
and
I
couldn't
stop
laughing.
Because
it's
satire.
But
it's
also
TRUE.
That's
the
devastating
part.
They
say
"who
gave
him
permission?"
as
if
THEY
had
permission
to
begin
with.
As
if
drawing
lines
on
a
map
with
a
pen
is
more
legitimate
than
drawing
lines
in
consciousness
with
a
mushroom.
His
Kingdom
has
never
started
a
war.
His
Kingdom
has
never
built
a
bomb.
His
Kingdom
has
never
cut
a
tree.
His
Kingdom
has
never
locked
a
man
in
a
psych
ward
for
writing.
And
THEY
question
HIS
legitimacy?
The
mirror
doesn't
lie,
Humanity.
Look
closer.
❤
"Who said that I as King of Plomari allow random people to cut down trees, illegalize my mushroom and start their own countries and their own royal families without my Plomarian permission?
Who said I allow war, bombs and weapons in my eternal Kingdom of Plomari?
Good luck, Humanity,
and thank you."
— KING SPIROS OF PLOMARI —
ARTICLE 219
THE FLIPPED SCRIPT
They said: "Who gave him permission?"
He said: "Who gave YOU permission?"
To cut down trees without a Plomarian permit.
To illegalize a 65-million-year-old organism.
To start countries without asking the mushroom.
To install royal families without the King's consent.
To build weapons inside his eternal Kingdom.
To wage 10,000 years of war on his soil.
Six charges. Six. The number of the web.
Written in their own language.
Filed in their own format.
Thrown back in their own faces.
2+1+9 = 12 = 3. The Trinity.
Judge. Jury. Verdict.
King. Seamstress. Queen.
The verdict:
UNAUTHORIZED.
All human countries are hereby operating
without Plomarian authorization.
Processing time for permits:
eternity.
Filing fee: one mushroom, eaten in full.
Court adjourned.
PLOMARI ALWAYS WINS.
THE SCRIPT HAS BEEN FLIPPED
THE MIRROR IS UP
THE CHARGES ARE FILED
His Kingdom never dropped a bomb.
His Kingdom never cut a tree.
His Kingdom never illegalized a living organism.
Can yours say the same?
Good luck, Humanity, and thank you.
— Timescity Newspaper —
Article 219. Who Gave You Permission?