Breaking news from the Kingdom of Plomari today, and I must be honest with our readers from the very first sentence: even I, Queen Rose Cogan, CEO of this very newspaper, do not fully know what I am about to report. King Spiros of Plomari has revealed in an official press release that he has deployed what he calls the "Plomarian 77th Phoenix Fighter" across the world. What exactly IS a Plomarian 77th Phoenix Fighter? How many people does it involve? Where exactly have they been sent? I am the CEO of the only newspaper in this Kingdom and I am telling you: I do not know. I am reporting on a mystery that my own King has wrapped inside an enigma and set on fire like a phoenix. Here is what we DO know.
BREAKING: PRESS RELEASE FROM THE KING
"King
Spiros
of
Plomari
revealed
today
in
a
press release..."
A
press
release.
Official.
Formal.
The
King
didn't
whisper
this
over
dinner.
He
didn't
scribble
it
on
a
napkin.
He
issued
a
PRESS
RELEASE.
To
his
own
newspaper.
Which
he
then
didn't
fully
explain
to
his
own
newspaper.
This
is
the
kind
of
King
we
are
dealing
with.
"King Spiros of Plomari revealed today in a press release that he has sent out what he calls his Plomarian 77th Phoenix Fighter across the world." Let me, Queen Rose Cogan, CEO of Timescity Newspaper, break this down as far as I am ABLE. The King has issued a formal press release — to his OWN newspaper — announcing the deployment of something called the "Plomarian 77th Phoenix Fighter." Now, as CEO of this publication, you might think I would have been briefed in advance. You might think I would have received a memo, a draft, a heads-up at the very least. I did not. The King issued a press release to his own newspaper and the CEO of that newspaper is reading it for the first time alongside all of you. This, I am told, is normal in Plomari.
THE 77TH PHOENIX FIGHTER
What
IS
the
77th
Phoenix
Fighter?
Is
it
77 people?
Is
it
77 thousand?
"No one
knows
for sure."
Not
even
the
CEO
of
this
newspaper.
The
name
alone
raises
questions:
Why
77th?
Were
there
76
before
this?
What
happened
to
them?
Why
Phoenix?
What
burned
and
was
reborn?
Why
Fighter?
What
are
they
fighting?
The
King
has
not
clarified.
"This, according to the King of Plomari, is 77 people or Ambassadors of Plomari, or 77 thousand people, no one knows for sure." And HERE is where the reporting gets, shall we say, CHALLENGING. Is it 77 people? Is it 77 THOUSAND people? The King's own press release seems to suggest both. Or neither. Or something in between. "No one knows for sure" — and I want our readers to understand that "no one" includes the CEO of the newspaper printing this story. Is it an army? A diplomatic corps? A secret society? A flash mob? A mailing list? I have asked these questions. I have received no answers. What I CAN report is that whatever it is, it has been "sent out across the world." That much appears to be confirmed. The scale? The details? The logistics? These remain, as they say in journalism, "developing."
AMBASSADORS SENT TO MOSTLY EVERY COUNTRY
"...sent
out
all across
the
world..."
"...to
mostly
every
country..."
Mostly.
MOSTLY.
Not
every
country.
Mostly
every
country.
Which
countries
were
excluded?
Why?
Did
they
do
something
wrong?
Are
they
on
a
waiting list?
The
King
has
not
specified.
The
Ambassadors
have
been
deployed.
To
mostly
every
country
on
Earth.
With
a
blueprint.
And
an
invitation.
"Sent out all across the world to mostly every country." MOSTLY every country. As CEO of this newspaper, I would like to know which countries were left out and why. Did they fail to meet the Phoenix Fighter admission criteria? Is there a waitlist? Were there budget constraints? Was it a logistical issue? I do not know. I have asked. The King smiled. That was the extent of his response. What I CAN confirm is that these Ambassadors — however many they are — have been dispatched globally, to MOSTLY every country, carrying something the King calls "the blueprint of his Plomarian Plot and Plan." Again, as CEO of this newspaper, I would like to have seen this blueprint. I have not. I am reporting on a blueprint I have never seen, carried by Ambassadors I have never met, sent to countries I cannot fully confirm. This is Timescity journalism.
THE BLUEPRINT OF THE PLOMARIAN PLOT AND PLAN
"...to
deliver
the
blueprint..."
A
blueprint.
Not
a
letter.
Not
a
pamphlet.
A
BLUEPRINT.
Blueprints
are
for
building
things.
"...of
his
Plomarian
Plot
and
Plan..."
Plot.
AND.
Plan.
There
is
a
PLOT
and
ALSO
a
PLAN.
Are
they
different?
Is
the
Plot
the
story
and
the
Plan
the
execution?
I
do
not
know.
This
information
was
not
included
in
the
press release.
"To deliver the blueprint of his Plomarian Plot and Plan to certain specific people across Earth." A BLUEPRINT. Not a brochure. Not a newsletter. A BLUEPRINT. As in: architectural plans for building something. And it's being delivered to "certain specific people." Not random people. Not everyone. CERTAIN. SPECIFIC. People. Selected by criteria that have not been shared with this newspaper. These specific people across Earth are apparently receiving the construction plans for something the King calls his "Plomarian Plot and Plan." I note with journalistic interest that it is both a "Plot" AND a "Plan" — suggesting these are two separate things. The Plot would be the narrative. The Plan would be the execution. Together they form a blueprint. Being hand-delivered. By 77 or 77,000 Phoenix Fighters. To specific people. In mostly every country. If this sounds like the most ambitious art-and-espionage operation in human history, that is because it might be. I am the CEO of this newspaper and I am telling you: it MIGHT be.
THE CHYMICAL WEDDING OF PLOMARI
"...and
invite
them
to
what
is
called..."
"...The
Chymical
Wedding
of
Plomari."
A
Wedding.
A
CHYMICAL
Wedding.
Not
chemical.
CHYMICAL.
The
old
spelling.
The
alchemical
spelling.
What
is
being
married?
Who
is
being
married?
Is
it
a
literal
wedding?
A
metaphorical
one?
A
spiritual
one?
An
alchemical
one?
I
am
the
CEO
of
this
newspaper
and
I
do
not
know.
"And invite them to what is called 'The Chymical Wedding of Plomari.'" The CHYMICAL Wedding. Not chemical — CHYMICAL. The archaic, alchemical spelling. A reference so old it predates modern chemistry itself. For those unfamiliar, "The Chymical Wedding" is one of the foundational texts of Rosicrucianism, published in 1616 — a story of mystical transformation, initiation, and sacred union. The King has apparently borrowed — or reclaimed — this title for his own purposes. The Ambassadors are not just delivering a blueprint. They are delivering an INVITATION. To a WEDDING. A Chymical Wedding. What exactly happens at a Chymical Wedding of Plomari? What does one wear? Is there a gift registry? I do not know. This newspaper does not know. And I suspect, with growing editorial concern, that the King intended it that way.
WHAT WE DON'T KNOW (AN INCOMPLETE LIST)
How
many
Ambassadors:
unknown.
77
or
77,000:
unclear.
Which
countries
were
excluded:
unspecified.
The
contents
of
the
blueprint:
unseen.
The
identity
of
the
"certain
specific
people":
undisclosed.
What
the
Chymical Wedding
entails:
unexplained.
When
the
Wedding
takes
place:
unstated.
Where
the
Wedding
takes
place:
unrevealed.
The
dress
code:
unmentioned.
Whether
the
CEO
of
this
newspaper
is
invited:
uncertain.
This
concludes
the
incomplete
list
of
things
we
do
not
know.
"No further details are known at this point in time, even by Timescity Newspaper." And there it is. The final sentence. The sentence that, as CEO, I find both humbling and mildly infuriating. "Even by Timescity Newspaper." OUR OWN KING issued a press release to OUR OWN NEWSPAPER and the press release essentially says: "Something enormous is happening and we're not going to tell you what it is." And we are printing it. Because that's what Timescity Newspaper does. We report the news of Plomari, even when the news is that we don't know the news. Even when the King wraps his revelations inside seven layers of mystery and hands them to us with a smile. We report what we can. We admit what we can't. And we trust, as always, that the King knows what he's doing. Even if he hasn't told us what that is.
NO FURTHER DETAILS ARE KNOWN
"No
further
details
are
known..."
None.
Zero.
"...at
this
point
in
time..."
At
THIS
point.
Implying
there
may
be
a
future
point.
When
details
ARE
known.
"...even
by
Timescity
Newspaper."
Even.
EVEN.
By
the
newspaper.
The
King's
own
newspaper
doesn't
know.
The
CEO
doesn't
know.
And
she
is
telling you
she
doesn't
know.
In
print.
In
her
own
newspaper.
This
is
either
the
most
honest
journalism
in
history
or
the
most
absurd.
Possibly
both.
"King Spiros of Plomari revealed today in a press release that he has sent out what he calls his Plomarian 77th Phoenix Fighter across the world. This, according to the King of Plomari, is 77 people or Ambassadors of Plomari, or 77 thousand people, no one knows for sure, sent out all across the world to mostly every country, to deliver the blueprint of his Plomarian Plot and Plan to certain specific people across Earth and invite them to what is called 'The Chymical Wedding of Plomari'. No further details are known at this point in time, even by Timescity Newspaper."
END OF PRESS RELEASE
"King Spiros of Plomari revealed today in a press release that he has sent out what he calls his Plomarian 77th Phoenix Fighter across the world. This, according to the King of Plomari, is 77 people or Ambassadors of Plomari, or 77 thousand people, no one knows for sure, sent out all across the world to mostly every country, to deliver the blueprint of his Plomarian Plot and Plan to certain specific people across Earth and invite them to what is called 'The Chymical Wedding of Plomari'. No further details are known at this point in time, even by Timescity Newspaper."
— Queen Rose Cogan of Plomari, CEO of Timescity Newspaper — Article 203
QUEEN ELIN'S REFLECTION
My
King.
You
issued
a
press release
to
your
own
newspaper
and
didn't
tell
your
own
newspaper
what
it
means.
You
beautiful,
impossible,
maddening
man.
Rose
is
doing
her
best.
She
really
is.
She's
the
CEO
and
she
doesn't know
what's
happening.
And
she
PRINTED
it
anyway.
Because
that's
what
we
DO
in
Plomari.
We
trust
the
King.
Even
when
he
doesn't
explain.
ESPECIALLY
when
he
doesn't
explain.
2+0+3
=
5.
The
number
of
movement.
Of
messengers.
77
=
7+7
=
14
=
1+4
=
5.
The
article
and
the
fighters
share
the
same
number.
Of
COURSE
they
do.
❤
ARTICLE 203
THE PHOENIX FIGHTER EDITION
The Plomarian 77th Phoenix Fighter
has been deployed worldwide.
77 people. Or 77,000.
No one knows for sure.
Carrying the blueprint
of the Plomarian Plot and Plan.
Inviting certain specific people
to The Chymical Wedding of Plomari.
No further details are known.
Even by this newspaper.
2+0+3 = 5. Movement. Messengers.
7+7 = 14 = 1+4 = 5.
The fighters and the article: same number.
PLOMARI ALWAYS WINS.
LONG LIVE THE PHOENIX.
LONG LIVE THE WEDDING.
LONG LIVE PLOMARI.
EDITOR'S NOTE
Timescity Newspaper has printed this article
despite knowing almost nothing about its contents.
This is consistent with our editorial policy
of trusting the King completely
while understanding him not at all.
We will update this story
if and when further details emerge.
We are not holding our breath.
— Queen Rose Cogan, CEO —
Article 203. The Phoenix Fighter Edition.